TEACHING
TEENS RESPECT
by Greg Stevenson
Respect
is a tricky concept.
To
some, respect means submitting unquestioningly to authority.
To others, it may show itself in the form of caring and
consideration for family members, friends, and the community
at large. On either end of the spectrum, respect is strongly
connected to value systems --our core beliefs dictate
how we interact with the world around us.
Teaching
teens respect is especially tricky because they are at
a time of their life when their own individual value systems
are being defined for the first time. Like it or not,
most teens will develop value systems that differ in some
areas from their parents' in order to fit their life experience
and be true to themselves. The new value system will incorporate
many different influences that have helped the teen become
who they are.
The
most important consideration in teaching teens respect
is to consistently model the kind of respect that you
hope they will display; respect, that is, for both the
teens themselves and for the world around you. This will
have two benefits. First, you will have a positive and
supportive influence on the youth as they work through
some of the most challenging years of their life. Second,
by respecting the youth, you will demonstrate that you
value their developing personality and world views. While
this may be difficult for parents who are accustomed to
dictating rules and ways of behaving, dressing, communicating
with others, and approaching important tasks like school
and work, it is essential to allow teens to gain ownership
of their own life decisions.
Of
course, teens will naturally take control of their lives
whether parents go along willingly or not. The question
is how the healthy the process is going to be. This will
most often be determined by finding the right pace at
which to allow (or encourage) teens to decide for themselves.
Each individual will be different. Many youth are in fact
torn between craving independence and feeling a lingering
need for the parental security blanket.
Wilderness
adventure camps provide an opportunity for youth to venture
out and learn about themselves in a challenging, inspirational
environment. Wilderness activities also provide a consistent,
non-confrontational way of teaching teens respect. Climbing
a mountain or paddling out on the ocean requires respect
for oneself and for the surrounding environment. Success
in these adventures promotes self-confidence and a foundation
upon which a solid, respect-based value system can be
built.
Teaching
teens respect is not easy. With all the negative influences
and clutter in modern society, the task of helping struggling
teens stay on track is even tougher. The wilderness offers
one route to simplifying life at a time when a teen's
evolving self-concept and value-system are having difficulty
finding a positive path.
