HELPING TROUBLED TEENS
Psycho-Social Development
by Scott Smith
In
my line of work, our entire focus is on helping troubled
teens achieve growth.
The
14 - 19 age range is a very impressionable time in an
individual's life, as pop culture and the effects thereof
are proven everyday. The first thing that we must relate
to our clients is that MTV is not the "book"
by which to base your entire existence, and that where
you sit in the lunch room does not fully represent who
you are or how you live your life. The flip side to this
is that where you sit in the lunchroom in high school
can have a very big influence on your life down the road.
Here's
an imaginary example: Kelly was an overweight youth with
braces and an acne problem. She sat alone everyday and
rarely interacted with her school peers. Kelly was constantly
put down and belittled by other classmates. Now Kelly
has low self esteem and very little self confidence. She
works part time at McDonalds and does not see much of
a future for herself. Mike was the popular guy in school
-great at sports and very entertaining to his peers. All
the girls wanted to be with him, and all the boys wanted
to be him. Mike was never denied anything, got whatever
he wanted when ever he wanted it. Mike is now unemployed,
because no-one will "give" him the six figure
job he feels he deserves. I mean come on he was all pro
lacrosse three years straight, surely he deserves it.
And then there's Amy. She was an introverted art student
in school. She didn't have many friends and never went
to parties. She had her first kiss in college and first
real boyfriend after college graduation. She then finished
her Masters degree, married her first boyfriend, has three
kids a house and owns her own art gallery.
Was
the fate of these individuals determined by how they did
in school? The answer is no. Their achievements in life
(or lack thereof) stem from the MESSAGE they let themselves
believe. Kelly, believed what others told her -that she
was fat and ugly and no one liked her. Mike was told he
was royalty and that everything in life was free just
because he looked good and was funny. The difference for
Amy was she told HERSELF that she was successful and that
she was going to obtain the life she wanted by working
for it.
The
message here is simple. To help troubled teens, we do
not need to tell them how to be successful, how to succeed,
or how to "be all that they can be". All we
need to tell them is that the bravest and most beautiful
thing that can happen to a person is to look inside, listen,
really LISTEN to what they know to be true about themselves
and follow their own instincts in life. At the end of
the day all you have to keep you awake at night, or to
sing you a lullaby, is your own inner voice.
It's
not really a matter of helping troubled teens. It's helping
troubled teens help themselves.
